He’s at it again. Our mystery General Manager has found some time to tap out some musings on a sensitive topic… Course Closures!

Winter Golf: Course Closed?

Winter Golf: Course Closed?

Ah, winter golf in the U.K. The days are shorter, the temperatures are lower, and the courses? Well, let’s just say they’ve entered “hibernation mode.” For the avid golfer, it’s like being handed a box of Ultras at Christmas when you asked for Pro V 1’s. Disappointing.

But before you toss your clubs into the garage and resign yourself to endless reruns of It ain’t half hot mum, let’s explore the peculiar beauty of this season and why it’s not just a time for grumbling but also for embracing the soul of the sport.

A Golfer’s Nightmare

The signs of winter golf are unmistakable: shortened layouts that make you feel like you’re playing mini-golf, temporary tees that look suspiciously like someone’s DIY Ground Force project, and greens so protected they might as well be witness protection programs. And let’s not forget the infamous AstroTurf mats. Nothing screams “elite athlete” quite like trying to hit a 7-iron off a glorified welcome mat from a frozen fairway.

Of course, these things can make even the most dedicated golfer grumble. But here’s the truth: But while we lament the loss of pristine fairways and perfectly rolling greens, let’s remember: the course needs this time to recover. it’s time for some agronomic TLC—fancy words for doing all the stuff that makes your course playable next year. Overseeding, hollow coring, sand-banding…sure, it sounds like a list of medieval torture methods, but it’s all for the greater good. These agronomic practices, as dull as they may sound, lay the foundation for the lush fairways and true greens we’ll be celebrating in the spring.

So while the AstroTurf mats may offend your sensibilities and the protected greens test your patience, think of it as a necessary retreat—a moment for the course to heal and prepare for the battles ahead.

Winter Golf: The Social Season

If summer golf is all about trophies and personal bests, winter golf is about not taking yourself too seriously. It’s time to embrace the social side of the game. Swindles, ashtrays, and the occasional bet that results in someone wearing a dress in the clubhouse—it’s what winter’s all about. Without the pressure of competitions, you can focus on the real skills: heckling your partner’s crippling slice and giving unsolicited swing advice to people who neither want it nor need it.

Winter rounds come with their own set of unique challenges. First, there’s the cold, which forces you to wear so many layers that your swing starts looking like an interprative dance. Then there’s the frost, which turns the greens into a playing surface akin to the M62 and ,very often, all the while being played from fairways and tees which are often more Sunday League football pitch than hallowed turf.

Yet, there’s a unique joy in embracing the absurdity of it all. But the beauty of winter golf is that no one really cares about your score. Instead, it’s all about who can come up with the best excuse for chunking their wedge shot.

And because daylight hours are limited, you’re likely to bump into players you’d never normally see on the course. It’s a beautiful chaos—a clubhouse filled with golfers of all ages, arguing over whose putting stroke is uglier while ordering pints like it’s the 19th hole of the Open Championship.

Winter golf ,then, reminds us that the game is as much about the company we keep as the shots we hit.

Relax?!

Winter golf is an opportunity to pause, to step back from the relentless pursuit of perfection that dominates the summer months. It’s a time to rediscover the essence of the game—the laughter, the banter, and the simple joy of being outdoors with friends.

Yes, there will be frustrations. The conditions will test your patience, and the occasional shanked shot may leave you questioning your life choices. But winter golf is not about perfection; it’s about resilience, adaptability, and finding joy in the journey, no matter how muddy the path may be.

So, throw on your thermals, dig out that hideous Christmas golf sweater, and get out there. Winter golf isn’t about glory—it’s about survival. And if you manage to finish a round with all ten fingers intact, you’ve already won.

When the Course is Closed…

On those inevitable days when the course succumbs to the Great British weather, all is not lost. The clubhouse, with its warm embrace and lively atmosphere, becomes the heart of the golfing community. Whether you’re playing snooker, a round of dominoes, or simply enjoying a pint and a hearty meal, the camaraderie of the clubhouse reminds us why we love this game.

Golf clubs were built on the foundation of community, and winter is the season that brings this spirit to the forefront. Even when the fairways are out of bounds, the friendships formed on the course remain strong, the clubhouse is where legends are made. Not golfing legends, mind you—just stories about that one time Dave nearly fell in the bunker full of water, trying to retrieve his ball he’s used for six consecutive rounds.

So this winter, don’t let the cold weather keep you down. Embrace the chaos, the camaraderie, and the sheer absurdity of winter golf. Because if you’re going to suffer, you might as well suffer with your friends—and maybe a pint or two to warm the chilblains!

Winter may not deliver the glory of a summer round, but it brings something just as valuable: a chance to connect, to laugh, and to remember why we play this beautiful, maddening game in the first place.